Barry Bluejeans: hey y’all welcome back to my wonderland speedrun challenge
“What I’m doing here is the door glitch exploit. Unfortunately I have to cycle through all these other random assets before I get to it, but in the end it saves more frames than completing the round normally. Normally I’d just clip through the wall but the way this place is programmed is every zone is just the same room and the next game is swapped in each round.
You might have noticed throughout this run I’ve been absorbing a lot of necrotic energy generated from my friends’ misery; that’s going to end up pretty essential for surviving the last boss. The hard part is going to be at the end when I have to convince the other players to follow me to a cave where I can load my second form, because if that doesn’t work well it really costs you the whole run”
- You have to shower. You cannot shower. You are standing right in front of the shower. You want to shower. You cannot shower.
- The meeting begins. “Did everyone see the email?” There is a chorus of nodding heads. You nod, too. You think you may possibly have checked an email account before, on one single occasion, at some unknown time, probably in a past life.
- You are hungry. You have been hungry for three days now. The hunger has not spontaneously resolved itself. How inconvenient, you think. How rude.
- You depend on your planner/calendar. You loathe your planner/calendar. You can’t function without it. You live in constant fear of it. It’s an unhealthy relationship. You think you both should start seeing other people.
- There is a pile on your floor. It is a treasure trove, the Room of Requirement. It has everything. You look for something specific. It has nothing. There was never any pile.
- There’s been a change of plans, they say. You don’t understand. They repeat: “there’s been a change of plans.” You don’t understand. The mere suggestion causes a buzzing in your head that drowns out everything else. You don’t understand.
- You’re in class and you don’t understand the lecture. You look back at your past notes. You look at a calendar. You have not been to class in two weeks. You have no memory of this supposed time. Where did it go? Why did it leave?
- “Organizational tips for success: Keep a planner! Write it down! Stick to a schedule! Make a list!” You are torn between deranged laughter and ugly crying. You choose both.
STORIES THAT WERE TOLD BY PEOPLE SPEAKING LANGUAGES WE NO LONGER KNOW
STORIES TOLD BY PEOPLE LOST TO THE VOID OF TIME
STORIES
GUYS LOOK AT THIS
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS
GUYYYYYSSSS
“Here’s how it worked: Fairy tales are transmitted through language, and the shoots and branches of the Indo-European language tree are well-defined, so the scientists could trace a tale’s history back up the tree—and thus back in time. If both Slavic languages and Celtic languages had a version of Jack and the Beanstalk (and the analysis revealed they might), for example, chances are the story can be traced back to the “last common ancestor.” That would be the Proto-Western-Indo-Europeans from whom both lineages split at least 6800 years ago. The approach mirrors how an evolutionary biologist might conclude that two species came from a common ancestor if their genes both contain the same mutation not found in other modern animals.”
How do they control for stories that were borrowed, which almost certainly happened?
“ Unlike genes, which are almost exclusively transmitted “vertically”—from parent to offspring—fairy tales can also spread horizontally when one culture intermingles with another. Accordingly, much of the authors’ study focuses on recognizing and removing tales that seem to have spread horizontally. When the pruning was done, the team was left with a total of 76 fairy tales.”
This article doesn’t say how, but I bet those methods are in the paper.
For this, they used a library of cultural traits for each culture a fairy tale occurred in, and then measured the likelihood that trait t occurs in culture c due to either phylogenetic proximity (inheritance) or spatial proximity (diffusion), using autologistic regression:
(Autologistic regression is a graphical model where connected nodes have dependencies on each other, except instead of an undirected graph, ALR is a special case that requires sequential binary data and assumes a spatial ordering. In this case, the binary data are the cultural features).
Cultural traits states are generated using Monte-Carlo simulation and phylogenetic or spatial influence are fitted as local dependencies between the nodes in the graph representing cultural traits. I can’t find this in the paper (though it may be mentioned in the citation of the method they used), but presumably if the spatial influence exceeds the phylogenetic influence by a certain threshold, the trait is removed.
Just thinking about people making year-end summaries of their accomplishments and also about reasons to keep yourself alive through the next year. Sorry, it’s a bit of a sappy comic.
u know what my biggest pet peeve is? when someone is like genuinely very mean to others and when they’re called out on their behavior they’re like “sorry i’m just a bitch xoxo” like yes u sure are!!!!! not something u should be proud of
Imagine hating trans men so much that you read the history of someone who presented as a man for so long that most people only discovered he was ~biologically female~ after his fucking autopsy and be like “well clearly he was just gender fluid” I’m fucking
he specifically asked to be buried in the clothes he died in!!!!! we only know he was trans bc someone disrespected his direct wishes after his death!!!!!!
Your friendly local hick (me) was giving a work presentation to a class that had some audience participation.
A suburban white boy answering a question stumbled through a statement where he was clearly trying to find a polite replacement for “hick” or “redneck” and I s2g this kid said “yeehaw folk.”
I wrote that shit up on the board and said, “I am, in fact, a yeehaw folk,” as my coworker just lost his shit laughing.
this is right up there with the person who couldn’t decide whether to use sir or ma'am to address to address someone and ended up saying captain
so my boyfriend and i were watching monster factory the other day, and one thing leads to another, and we’re making out, right
and as it turns out we forgot to pause the video bc we separated for a second and looked at each other
there was a moment of silence
and then the room is flooded with the sound of griffin mcelroy exclaiming
I THINK THOSE TWO PEOPLE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE SEX
and according to my boyfriend, that was the fastest they’ve ever seen me move bc as soon as that moment was over i was across the room turning off that video because that was the most utterly visceral deer in the headlights moment i’ve ever experienced and it will forever be screaming unerringly in the back of my mind the moment a single molecule of my body even considers the concept of sex i fuckign HATE griffin mcelro
bilbo, holding a cauliflower in front of gandalf’s face: what is this
gandalf: … a cauliflower?
bilbo, to thorin: now tell him what you think it is
thorin, arms folded: ghost broccoli
from what i know of botany- thorin isnt wrong. broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, collard greens, and even kohlrabi are all botanically the same plant: the process of growing a cauliflower involves placing a basket over it to deprive the flowering portion of sunlight so it does not become green
from what i know of linguistics- thats probably how it translates to dwarven, its closely related to germanic and german translates ‘gloves’ as ‘hand shoes’ so thats not out of place at all
